Decisions Made
by jailynn
Summary: Looking back on it, I knew exactly when I made my decision to be with him.   Toby/Emily   Emily POV
1. Chapter 1

**Title: **Decisions Made

**Fandom:** Pretty Little Liars

**Couple:** Toby and Emily

**Spoilers:** Nope

**Rating**: ...PG-13...maybe

**Warnings:** Eh, none that I can think of

**Feedback:** PLEASE!

**Author's Notes**: This was supposed to be a funny story...it didn't work. This is an actually plot driven-ish tale of Toby/Emily. I really do hope that you aren't disappointed. I figure with the serious one out of the way, I can be silly now... Written in first person

**Disclaimer:** Not mine. If they were Toby and Emily would be on the road to happytown* grin *

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Looking back on it, I knew exactly when I made my decision to be with him.

It wasn't hard. Which was nice because so many of my decisions lately had been. It was a soft realization. Quietly singing to me in the loudness of my life. Maybe that's why I didn't hear it at first. It wasn't screaming, demanding attention. He wasn't waving his arms, trying to force me into something I wasn't ready for. I wasn't used to that. I've never had anyone in my life not try and shove their wants on me.

When it happened...The moment was right. It was perfect and sweet. A kiss in the rain. Running through the woods, trying to find shelter. Hand in hand. Skin to skin. Him connected to me. The cabin, hidden away from the world, became our safe place. The windows were broken in the frames. Time had worn down the wood, coloring it from vibrant brown to a dull gray. The door was slightly askew, not quite closed, open just for us. Like someone knew we would need this place on that day. My heart skipped a beat once he pried it completely open and held it for me. My smile was shaky, but sincere as I walked through the door. My arms wrapped around me, rubbing the chill from my body. I licked my lips, tasting the rain as it cleansed the world.

Toby walked in behind me, his arms joining mine. Our hands brushed. Fingers touching briefly. My breath hitched in my throat. And that's when I knew something was different and my decision was made. I spun in his arms, pressing my hands against his wet shirt, looking at where I was touching him. Hard muscles moved under my palms and my fingers curled into the material. The seconds passed with neither of us moving an inch. At long last, his hands slid up my arms to grip the back of my head. His thumbs brushed against my cheeks. I closed my eyes and tilted my head up. I wanted to taste him again. I wanted to have his mouth pressed to mine. I wanted...

His lips were chapped from the wind and wet from the rain. Our mouths opened, taking the kiss deeper. His tongue touched mine. Fireworks. I saw them, felt them. Toby was gentle. Slowly pulling me under a current of desire. One kiss led to two then more. Each becoming more intense. My need to be closer became greater. I leaned up on the tips of my toes, pushing my body more firmly into his. My hands left his shirt to curl into the wet strands of his hair, holding his head so that the kiss would never end.

Only the need for air forced me to part with him. We looked into each others eyes. His the bluest I've ever seen. Words never spoken in them. Love. Want. Need. I saw them all. The quiet emotion that had been drowned out for so long, finally became louder. And it was epic. We are epic. I wanted to cry. I wanted to laugh. I wanted to have him hold me until everything made sense like this moment did. I took a step back and took a deep breath. He has always let me make the moves. Waiting for a sign before acting. I was going to give him that sign. And I knew it was going to be okay.

The moment I knew. It was when I looked into his eyes.

His blue eyes. That's why I fell in his arms that night. Those eyes that seemed to shine even in the darkest of moments. It was dark now. _A_ was still around. Maya pressed me to be something I wasn't ready to be. She wouldn't let me move at my own pace. My world felt so cold. So dark and scary. Not with him though. I felt safe with him. Slowly I pulled the hair tie out of my hair and dropped it to the floor. I toed off my shoes, leaving me barefoot. He watched me, silently. I heart pounded in my chest as I lifted my shirt. He rushed over and took my hands in his, stopping me.

"Be sure," he whispered. "Please be sure you want this."

Any doubt I might have had disappeared. Because his hands shook. Because his voice was strained. Because he wanted me, but was willing to stop this from happening if I wasn't ready. It was at that precise moment I knew I was. Taking his right hand, I pressed the palm to my lips and kissed it. "I'm sure." My gaze never left his. My voice didn't waver. I was at peace. I was exactly where I wanted to be. "I'm sure," I repeated against his lips before stealing them in another kiss.

He inhale sharply and slipped his hands under the hem of my shirt. I started shaking as his fingers glided along my skin. His fingertips were a bit rough from working with his hands and I relished the feeling of them on me. My shirt slowly began to rise, exposing me more and more to the coolness of the room, but I wasn't cold. I was hot. Burning. His gentle caresses sent streaks of fire wherever he touched. I hissed into his mouth, nipping at his lip. Finally we had to stop kissing so he could remove my shirt completely. The t-shirt hit the floor in a wet heap at our feet. He stared at me. His breathing coming faster. I did that and I took pride in the fact that I turned him on. He wasted no time in removing his shirt and tossing it to the ground next to mine. It was my turn to look now. Tone chest, defined abs, strong arms... I reached out to touch him, sliding my hand along his upper body. His head dropped to my shoulder, kissing and licking at the skin. I sighed. Tilting my head back so he could kiss up the column of my neck. Teeth nipped, drawing moans from my lips. Moans he swallowed as he closed his mouth over mine.

The rest of our clothes were removed in a blur of need. Need to touch. Need to explore. Need to taste. Need to look and a need to be seen. It was the first time I felt like I had been seen. Toby didn't look beyond me, through me, around me. He looked into my eyes and searched my soul.

He laid me down on the bed and I tried to stop from shaking so much. Concern slipped into my psyche. Toby's done this before. He's touched another in this way. He knew what he was supposed to do, I didn't have a clue. Things never progressed this far with Ben. Being with Maya wasn't like this. I closed my eyes and waited for the fear to cease gnawing at my stomach. He ran his fingers down my face and asked me to look at him. Opening my eyes back up, I licked my lips and held his gaze. Toby shifted so that he was to the side of me and continued to caress my cheek. His head lowered to mine and he kissed me softly, leaving me wanting more. When I pushed onto my side and pressed against him, he deepened the kiss. My hands slid up and down his back, brushing the curve of his behind, bringing his lower body closer. His fingers worked their own magic on me, finding places I didn't know could make me moan and pant and arch into him. He whispered words of encouragement, asking if it was okay, did I want to stop. No, God, I didn't want to stop. I wanted to feel warm, wanted, whole and he made me feel those things without even trying.

The storm outside the small shack we took refuge in was nothing compared to the raging one he created in me. His touch sent fire shooting through my veins. Starting in my lower belly and spreading outward. Higher and higher I flew. Sweet sensations tickled me in places I have never felt anything before. Not with Ali. Not with Ben. And especially not with Maya.

When our bodies joined, it hurt. At first. It hurt. A lot. Tears leaked out of my tightly shut eyes. Soft cries of pain escaped. When it seemed like it was too much, Toby was there to help me through. He pressed his face into my neck and let me get used to having him inside me, all around me. I got to set our pace. Slowly building the heat back up between us. Hands moved over my hair and body, taking me on a ride.

There was a tightening in my belly, twisting, intensifying and I fought it at first, confused. Toby leaned over me, rubbing our lips together, "Give in. Let go. I'll be here."

And I did. "Toby," I moaned, gripping his upper arms, digging my nails into his flesh. I broke, shattered, flew, sailed through the stars and settled back in his arms. He was watching me, his body still. A small amazed smile on his face.

"You're beautiful," he whispered reverently. And I felt beautiful. He moved again, pressing me further into the bed. I held on and watched him fall into the same ocean I had moments before. My name on his lips as he did.

The night was perfect. We stayed in each others arms and listened to the wind and the rain. I fell asleep listening to the steady sound of his heart under my ear.

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That was three months ago. Three months passed in a blink of an eye and now I have a new decision to make.

It wasn't hard. Not like other decisions in my life. All it took was looking into his icy blue eyes and I knew. Without a doubt I knew that everything would be okay. My hand gripped his and we stood on the front door step of my house. My heart was pounding in my chest. My stomach was doing flips. My hand squeezed his and he squeezed back. I looked over at him and he smiled, leaning down to press his lips to my forehead.

I closed my eyes, taking strength from him and inhaled deeply. Turning the door knob, I opened it up and pulled him behind me. My parents were on the couch to the left of the foyer. My mom leaning her head on my dad's shoulder reading the paper, while my dad flipped casually through a magazine. His arm around her shoulders, rubbing his fingers up and down. The scene was peaceful and I knew I was about to break the peace with my news.

My feet shifted back and forth and I bit my lower lip. Feeling Toby's presence at my side, his warmth seeping into me. I take what I need from him and clear my throat. Both my parents looked up at once. My mom's eyes widened. My dad's jaw clenched and he pushed himself into a straighter sitting position, ready to defend, ready to attack. I tightened my hold on Toby's hand and smiled through the sickness beginning to rise in my throat.

"Mom, dad," I begin and I'm amazed at the steadiness of my tone. "This is Toby."

"I know who he is," my dad said in a deadly calm voice. "What is he doing in my home? Why are you holding his hand?"

"Um," I panicked. Dread sprang forth and knocked me for a loop. Words stuck like glue in my throat, I swallow and swallow again to push the stickiness down and let the sentence I've been rehearsing since Toby and I found out loose. "Dad, Toby's here because I want him to be and because I have something to tell you." Pause. Please God let me find the strength. Toby entwined our fingers and held on and I knew no matter what happened next, I'd have him. And that helped me say the two words I'd most feared telling my dad, "I'm pregnant."

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Would love to hear your thoughts...


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: I named Emily's father Anthony. I don't think he has a name yet. If he does...oops. LOL

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**Chapter 2**

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The moment I found out I was pregnant I knew telling my parents would be the worst part. Telling Toby he was going to be a father was terrifying, but somehow I knew he wouldn't blame me or look at me like I planned the whole thing. He wouldn't look down upon me. And he didn't. He took a deep breath. Held my hand and then pulled me into his arms, cradling me against his chest. He brushed my long dark hair with his fingers. Slowly, until I relaxed. He whispered that everything was going to be okay. We would figure it all out. That he loved me. That was the first time he ever said it and I believed him. It wasn't just words said to the woman he knocked up. He meant them. He loved me. And I, I love him. It took me longer to realize it. It took me longer to get there but it was true. We love each other and this baby growing inside of me.

The thought of being pregnant wasn't as scary with him holding me. But now, in my living room, with my parents, I was more than terrified. I was nearly numb with fear and the room felt like all the air had been suck out of it with two words. Two words that left us here and here was some place I really didn't want to be.

The room was silent. A deafening silence that seemed to speak louder than anything I've ever heard before. My dad stared at Toby then at me. Betrayal and anger written in bold, block letters across his face. His mouth set in a firm line, the corners pulled down in a deep frown. His fists clench and unclench, like he didn't know what to do. I could relate. I did relate. I felt small under my father's gaze. His little girl. Pregnant. And by a boy that most thought at one time killed one of my best friends. Some in town still whispered that he did and got away with murder.

I never, ever thought I would be one of those girls that didn't think ahead, didn't think period, and got pregnant because of it. I've always been a planner. Every step I've taken in my life has been measured. Every word spoken was thought through carefully. I hardly ever do something spontaneous because I know that the cons can out-weigh the pros easily. And help me God, this was one of those times I could feel the scale tilt in the cons favor. My heart felt heavy and my legs felt weak waiting for a reaction from my parents.

My dad finally moved, getting up from his seat and walked over to Toby and I. His body rigid. He stood in front of us, his dark eyes flashing in rage. "Pregnant?"

I swallow, wishing like hell he wouldn't stare at me in that way. My dad has always looked at me with only love in his eyes. Never disappointment. It was like he was cutting me, slicing at my soul and I felt the knife make every incision. Water filled my eyes to the rim, blurring my vision. "Daddy..."

Anthony Fields shook his head and looked away from me to Toby. "You are not welcome in _my_ house."

Toby stood tall with me shaking at his side. His grip on my hand never loosened, "I'm not leaving Emily so upset."

"I said," my dad's voice turned cold and menacing, "to get out of my house. You aren't welcome here. Not now, _not ever_." He stood toe-to-toe with Toby. "You let go of my daughter's hand and leave this house or I will have to throw you out. Don't make me do that, son."

"Sir," Toby locked eyes with my dad, unwaveringly. "I'm not leaving. I won't leave Emily like this." He looked over at me and his eyes turned soft. "I love her." He turned his attention back to the man threatening him. "I love your daughter and I won't leave her or our baby."

The first punch caught us both by surprise. Anthony's fist caught Toby under the right side of his jaw, sending him backwards and breaking the grip he had on my hand. Another fist flew. This one hit him in the mouth, blood leaked from the side. A crimson river. Then another, and another. I felt nauseous watching Toby take a beating from my own father. Bruises started forming, reddened areas and blood spotting his shirt. Toby was on the ground with my dad hovering over him, his fist raised again for another hit. I rushed over and pulled hard on my dad's arm.

"Please, daddy, stop," I begged. The tears swimming in my eyes before now coating my face in twin lines. He turned to look at me, and I wanted to hide at the fury I saw. I didn't know the man staring back at me. He seemed to come back to himself enough to realize who I was and what he was doing because I felt his arm go slack before he climbed off of Toby. He stepped back and I knelt at Toby's side, running my hands over his face, looking at the damage my father had done to him. I turned my head, glaring at the man I had looked up to my entire life. "How could you do this?" Toby and I stood, leaning on each other for support. "He didn't deserve this."

My mom stood between us, blocking my father, staring at me. She regarded us with sad and panicked eyes. "I think you should leave Toby. We need to talk with Emily. We need to discuss our options." She walked toward us and I latched onto Toby's arm, unwilling to let him go. Unwilling to be alone with the man that so brutally beat my child's father. "Please leave us." She paused and I held my breath. "Emily will call you later..."

"The hell she will," Anthony growled from behind Pam.

She turned sharply to look at her husband, continuing with what she was saying. "Emily will call you later when cooler heads reign." Pam looked back at us, I felt some of the tension leave my body. My mom wasn't on our side, but she wasn't cutting Toby out of my life either. "Please," she implored, "Just leave for right now. I promise you, Emily will call you as soon as we have a family talk."

Toby opened his mouth to respond. I pulled at his arm, he turned to face me. "It'll be okay," I whispered so only he could hear me. "I'll call you as soon as we're done." He waited a full ten seconds before nodding. I cupped my right hand around his head and very gently kissed his lips where they weren't bruised or split. "I love you," I said directly in his ear, so he knew that those words were also just for him.

"I love you, too," he told me on a breath, squeezing my hand one last time, he left my home.

I closed the door behind him, feeling more alone than I ever had before. Turning to face my parents was a bit like turning to face the firing squad. I had no idea which one would shoot the fatal bullet, but I was convinced one would. My hands drop to my stomach in a protective manner. The baby was only two inches long and my stomach was only slightly more rounded, but I felt it. I felt the life growing inside of me. I felt my body change to support and protect the child I had created with Toby. Taking a step toward my mom and dad, I licked my lips and said the first thing that popped into my head, "How could you do that dad?"

"He," the control of his voice was taunt, ready to break at any moment. He has never yelled at me, never raised his voice, but this was a day of firsts. First time I truly disappointed him. First time he has ever hurt someone in front of me. First time I've ever hurt him to the core. He shook his head, "I will not apologize for trying to protect you from him. You are my only daughter. And now you are pregnant at the age of 18. Emily you haven't even graduated." He pointed to the door. "That boy ruined your life."

"He wasn't the only one there, daddy," my head dropped, chin resting on my chest. "I wanted to be with him. He didn't push me or force me," I raise my head again, trying to convey with my eyes that what happened with Toby was my choice. "I love him dad."

"The same way you '_loved_' Maya," cruel tone matched his cruel words. I felt like I had been slapped, tears welled up in my eyes and I blinked them away before they fell.

"Okay that's enough," Pam said quietly but firmly. "We have to talk about this rationally. Emily have you been to the doctor? You know you're pregnant for sure?" I nod. I would have never put us all through this if I wasn't absolutely sure. "Alright," she rubbed her brow with her right hand, "well I assume you are going to give this baby up for adoption." I open my mouth to speak, but she continued without giving me a chance. "I can call your grandmother in Montgomery and you can stay with her until the baby's born. I'm sure you don't want to deal with the rumors of being a pregnant teen. Walking around town and school..."

"Mom!" She stopped and I shook my head slowly. "I'm not giving my baby up. Toby and I have decided to raise him or her. We have already talked about it. And I'm not going to live with grandma. I want to have the baby here where Toby is, where my friends are."

"You can't have a baby here, Emily," my mother said aghast. "The people of this town would never let you live it down. Rosewood isn't a forgiving place. Your reputation will be ruined here, especially when everyone finds out it's Toby's child you're carrying. Think about everyone's future."

"Are you worried about my reputation," I replied brokenly, any fight I may have had left me completely. "Or yours, mom?" She didn't say anything, but the answer was written on her face. A single tear slipped over my cheek and I quickly wiped it away. "I think I need to leave."

Turning around I grabbed my jacket hanging on the hook by the door and walk out of the house. I took deep breaths, trying not to cry and not to dwell on the fact that my parents didn't even try to make me stay. I sink my shoulders further into my black coat, desperate for warmth. The cold seeping into my veins, pumping through my system, was making it nearly impossible to stop the shivers from shaking my body. Looking around the dark road of our neighborhood, I realized I had no where to go. I can't return to my home. Not now, not with the way my parents were acting. I can't turn to Maya, because, well we weren't exactly on speaking terms. Aria, Spencer, Hanna...I don't want to break down on their shoulders.

A lighted window across the street drew me to his house. I ran faster than I thought I could, wanting nothing more than to be with him with his arms wrapped around me. He opened the door before I even reached it, his face swollen from the fight with my father, his left eye bruised so bad it was nearly closed. The small restrain I had on my emotions finally broke and I broke with them. "I'm sorry he did that to you. I'm sorry I ruined your life." The rambling of words were coated in thickness. I could barely speak through the pain, but I also couldn't stop talking. "It's my fault. And now...They don't want me anymore. They want me gone. Toby, my parents want me to go away..."

Toby opened his arms and I fell into them. My legs gave way, slipping out from under me. I would have hit the ground had he not been there. The weight of my sadness was making it difficult to breathe. I curled my hands into the material of his shirt, holding on, needing him to support me, to anchor me. Toby leaned down, scooping me up, cradling me close to his chest. I buried my face into his neck, my silent and not so silent sobs wetting his skin. He carried me somewhere. I didn't look. My eyes were shut tight, my body curled around his, seeking his warmth and his love. Toby set me on his bed then started to move away. I tightened my grip on him, whimpering slightly, "Please don't leave me."

He pushed the hair from my face, smiling at me, "I'm just going to shut the blinds and turn off the light." Leaning down he kissed me gently, careful of his fat lip. "I'm not leaving you. I'll never leave you." Taking my hands in his, he pressed a soft kiss to each palm. "Trust me?" I nodded. He moved quickly away. Closing the blinds then the dark curtains. Toby turned off the fan light, but left the small lamp on his desk lit. He climbed onto the bed next to me, pulling me against him. "What happened?"

"My mom," I stopped swallowing against the lump in my throat. "She told me that I should leave Rosewood until the baby's born then give it up for adoption. She doesn't want me around because it would look bad. They don't want me anymore. They hate me. My dad blames you, but it's my fault."

"Emily," he rubbed circles on my back with one hand and the other came to rest on the tiny swell of my stomach. "She's just reacting. So is your dad. Once they calm down." He stopped and looked directly into her eyes. "They'll come around. Just give them time. And none of this is your fault. We both forgot about using protection. I just wanted you so bad." He brushed his hands through my hair like he did the afternoon I told him he was going to be a father. "You're parents are just scared for you right now. They love you, Em. They love you almost as much as I do."

I didn't believe him about my parents, not really, but I wanted to. My eyes slip from his, picking at the material of his shirt above his heart. "Can I stay here? Please?"

Tipping my chin up with his finger tip, he fixed his eyes on mine. "You can stay with me. You are always welcome here with me. I love you, Emily. We'll get through this."

"I love you too," I whispered, resting my head on his shoulder. My eyelids grew heavy and fell closed. Everything that happened that night, zapped me of all my energy and sleep claimed me instantly.

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**Cait:** Thanks for reviewing!  
**sharstarz07: **I'm so glad you liked the first chapter. I really hope you like this one as well. And I agree! Stupid show. :P  
**KarismaJulian4Ever:** Oh if this happened on the show, I'd grin like a fool. Thank you so much for the review.


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